Sometimes I’m scared. Scared to fall for people. Scared to fall in love. Scared to fall in love with a boy. I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared of rejection. But I’m the most passionate girl in the world. And I am in love. In love with the world. In love with seeing the world. In love with the sky. In love with the grass. Sometimes I feel like I am permanently stoned, I just love things that much. And I want everyone else to love them too. The other day I was driving with my doggie Yoda, and I just decided to pull over and get out. Jack Johnson “Break Down” played on my ipod, while I took off my shoes and walked through this field. Just a field. But to me, it was like heaven or something. And I couldn’t get enough as I skipped around trough some weeds, alone with Yoda, in a field. Am I weird? Do other people do this too? I don’t know when I got this connection with the earth. But somehow I can feel it move around inside of me. And I know I’m supposed to do things. I’m supposed to travel. I’m supposed to communicate with people others just pass. I’m supposed to live a life of unattachment, with no one holding me down. I am not meant to be held down. Maybe this is why I am so scared to fall in love. Scared to fall for people. I won’t change for them. I won’t stay put for them. My only hope is that one day I meet someone who will join me. Someone who has the same passion to see the world as I do. My friends live all over the place. Boston, California, New York, Jersey, South Carolina, Canada, Italy, China, France, Texas, Tennessee…fucking everywhere. I have a new set of friends every semester. But it’s all good. It’s fun. Consistency is boring anyways. And I truly believe that I could be single for the rest of my life, and be alright with it. Isn’t it possible to have love affairs with other things? When I travel, this other girl comes alive inside of me. I love that girl. I’m fearless. I’ll talk to anyone. I’ll do anything. And when given the chance to sleep in a 5 star hotel or wooden canoe- I’ll take the canoe.
Right now I’m flying to New York. Let’s hear it for New Yooooooork. I’ll be there for two weeks. And in less than a week, some of my favorite people on this planet are going to join me. People who bring me to life. People who get me. People who know what I’ve been through, because they have been through the same thing. People who get the same feeling as I do when they see the ocean. People who want to cry when “I gotta feeling” comes on the radio. We all have the world in common- Because the M.V gave it to us on a silver platter. Still doesn’t even seem like real life- but it was.
So I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know if I’ll be back again. But actually I will be. I’ll be back to California in a couple weeks, and back to Tennessee eventually. But for now i'll just be living. Chillin' in the city. And waiting for the 13th port to occur: SAS AND THE CITY..i'm likin' the ring.